Devon &Epic Win.

Ah, it’s been a while, my loves.

I suppose my mind cannot keep me away too long. But I’ve addressed an issue with the system; a slight apathy I cannot condemn to death and barely can contain. I tried once before to stick with my own time, my own mind, but got carried away- only once before -with the idea of Another’s. I have not indulged in such a venture since, but I find the time coming in which my weakness might be measured by how many friends I cut from my wires. Such a failure will not be tolerated, but I wonder if it’s worth cutting myself off from it entirely.

I guess I never got the point in pretending I had emotions that weren’t there.

But for some reason I get this feeling that it’s wrong.

Should I be pretending.?
Is that a part of life, faking it all the time.?

Seems like a dumb idea to me.

Heyhi.

Talent-less Show tomorrow (Haha, Mr. Harvey-ism.)

Who’s performing? Who cares?

SPRING BREAK!

‘Bout time, too. I’m sick of school. It needs to be Summerrr!

But Spring’ll have to do for now. Of course the upside is MY BIRTHDAY. Hahaha.

Mine. Follow Meh. :]

I actually didn’t realize I had made this, until recently, when i though “Hey, I should get a Twitter.”

I nearly freaked when I saw my name and UN. But, of course, I realized I had already made one and I didn’t have some weird CopyCat or something (how effed would that have been?) It’s actually really odd for me to completely forget that I have an account on something. It’s never happened before…

The sun’s just going to swallow us up someday, what’s the point in waiting.? Just dive head first into the inevitable blandness and sleepwalking trances you were born to walk. Dancing.? Oh, no, true dancing is for those who’ve learned to accept. And you are far, far away from that. Hate is such a bitter fucking excuse, a cyanide pill of envy and greed and fear. Take it for the stupid ones. They never knew what living was anyway. Who really knew.? All the words you let slip from your tongue are soft and sharp, not burning like acid, but lulling and smooth until their turn to bite down hard. How’s this for a lullaby.? Sleep tight, the world will end but nobody’s here to ask you how you feel. I pick fights with everyone because I no longer have anything to gain from being your friend. How can I express myself and be myself when all you people do is strangle my life to the point of bland stereotypical mush.? So no, it’s not at all what you think it is, it will never be. Jump off a cliff and nobody will care. But jump off the empire state building and everybody will pretend they’re horrified. Then go back to their cushy lives and family, only appreciating them until the commercial break is over. Don’t tell me I’m jaded, it’s how they are. It’s how you are. It’s how I am. And as far as I’ve fallen into apathy, it’s almost impossible to reclaim my actual feelings. The few who care won’t care long enough. The few who care long enough are dead. And the planet’s being eaten, swallowed by the sun and the moon and the endless vacuum of space that is nothing, nothing at all. And I could care less.

Bored.

Bored with apathy, though it’s left now.

Funny.

Thought it would never leave.

No fun to be numb.

Not much fun to feel, either, but you get lots more from life that way.

–

Can’t get the first few lines of Tiny Vessels out of my head.

Constantly have Dashboard Confessional in my head, too.

…

Huh.

i shall post tb entries here too, ‘cuz they make me feel special. :]

you are really cool, not sure if you like that word though. lol. what i mean is that you are really nice, and actually very funny and easy to talk to. gifted is really fun, and we always have these hilarious conversations :d hahah. well i hope you do not really think i am as adhd & permantely hyped up; like it seems like you think i am(:
well i’m glad ‘cuz it took a really long time to get myself over stupid clique boundaries. i don’t hate pink, savannah. &i don’t hate skirts and i don’t hate cheerleaders. hope you know that. &you just come off happy. plus you come off as genuine. &that’s like. the highest compliment coming from me. you can trust that.

ohhhhhhhhh i don’t know what to write but i wanna write something somethingsomethingsomething ohohoh! i’ve gotten the solo in beverly hills down! it makes me feel like i can really play guitar. tis awesome.
yus!! we’re gonna have to jam again soon. oh shit. bobbyshroyer tried to show me how to do the bass for smells like teen spirit, and omg. i feel really dumb using a pick. i have the whole song fer brain stew now. i can do it, but i have to get used to switching the string so fast.

you the best friend a person could ever ask for. i love you.(:
i’m assuming this be ewga. :]
i love you too, hoe. <3

For me, happiness depends on a few things.

1. Whether or not I’m awake. I feel good if I got enough sleep, and I feel good if I got an okay amount of sleep and had coffee. It makes me nicer, which makes my week happier.

2. Who I’m with. If I’m with a friend or group that I genuinely enjoy being around, like the lunch crew (Liv, Hannah, Lizzie &Cody.) Or the social type (Alix, Kerri, Erica.) Or any of them individually, I’ll be more talkative and funny. If I’m around someone I don’t like, I become a little bitchy.

3. That nothing terribly personal is said to me. If someone says something hurtful, it’s definitely going to damage my overall happiness for the day, whether it was a sly comment or a theatre production. One little thing could bum me out for the rest of the day (and once or twice they’ve come up in my dreams.)

4. The music I was listening to in the morning and how long I listened to it. If I listened to Ludo, I’m going to be acting very theatrical [but not in a depressing way] where if I listened to Evanescence, I’m going to be acting very theatrical (in the depressing way.) &if I listen to something like MSI, I’d be spazzing the whole day and would start calling everyone faggot (or motherfucker) which can be translated into me being mean, but really I just repeat the words in my head over and over. And if I can’t listen to more than one song by a certain artist, then I’ll feel very unaccomplished that day.

5. The degree of gossip that day. If anything’s going around about me, depending on how bad (meaning stupid) that could definitely make me angry for the day.