Devon &Epic Win.

I knew it. I knew it, knew it, knew it.

Yeah, well, don’t come near me

I’ve got friends in lower places

Struggling upwards

Taking in the view

Tearing up my eyes

With you in them

Don’t fuck with me

I knew it, I did.

Almost out of school! About goddamn time. So, over the summer? Let’s get this tee thing I’ve been talking about for two years up and running, yeah? Liv and I can get some more songs written, go to some shows. Get some podcasts out there, start doing our thing again. This has to be the summer we get a lot of stuff off the ground, I have this odd feeling that if we don’t now, we won’t ever start.

I’m listening to The Format, which is basically Fun. (because Nate Ruess is singing) but less… I don’t know. Thought out, I s’pose. I love them regardless. It’s probably because I love Nate’s voice so much. (^_^)

But this summer, I’m thinking there will need to be parties. There will need to be events. Because while I loved last summer, I also would like to meet new people, and get to know ones I’ve met already. For saying I don’t like people, I really do like getting to know people. I’m actually a pretty social person, I just get angry easily. Anyway. That was a random little.. yeah. Haha.

Oh! And! I’m making mix CDs of random stuff from my iTunes tonight. Some people may be interested in getting in on the new music shtuff? Hit me up if you want a mix. It probably won’t be anything super special, but you may find a new song/band you like. :]

Random update time!? Gasp, no way, this isn’t a rant or vague-ass poetry!?

Nope!

What’s going on in my life right now? I’m reading The Jungle by Upton Sinclair and Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman. I’ve been listening to a lot of Fall Out Boy and this band I just found called Fun. Fun really rules, they have a very Queen-like thing going on, and I love it. I just got Sims 3: World Adventures, but I can’t play it yet because Matt hasn’t set up the big computer yet. Tomorrow’s the last day of school before Thanksgiving Break, which will be great. x]

At this very exact moment I am listening to douche rock. (Three Days Grace? Hellz to the yeah.) Tomorrow I plan to write some bass parts to my own original songs, and I did a little of that today, too. I think I’ll read some magazines and draw a bit, too. I should be going to sleep right now, but I don’t really want to. I’m pretty much awake.

This feels horrifically familiar.

We get caught in every tie we ever double-knotted, never taking the courage to step over them sometimes.

If we were as strong as our minds built us up to be, then how could we not handle such a weak attempt at something new.? A new level of life, far from any other we’ve encountered. A new experience waiting to be lived if only just for the privilege of writing it down for something all your own.

The word should only insult those who know deeply that they are. The word itself means you’re trying to be something that you clearly are not and you haven’t accepted yourself for you. Once you accept who you are and have been, you can’t be insulted by the word poser. You know yourself that you’re not posing as anything. Someone who constantly reinvents what they look like, how they act, who their friends are and who they are doesn’t have a clear definition of their self and is therefore, posing. Those who follow the trendy fucks in the choreographed dance of popular fashion can immediately kiss any sort of self fulfillment and individuality goodbye. You are nothing but a fake, a copy, a clone. You’ll never be your own person if you continue to meld into the fabric consistency of your fellow sheep. Or winged pigs, as the case may be.

I guess I never got the point in pretending I had emotions that weren’t there.

But for some reason I get this feeling that it’s wrong.

Should I be pretending.?
Is that a part of life, faking it all the time.?

Seems like a dumb idea to me.

Heyhi.

Talent-less Show tomorrow (Haha, Mr. Harvey-ism.)

Who’s performing? Who cares?

SPRING BREAK!

‘Bout time, too. I’m sick of school. It needs to be Summerrr!

But Spring’ll have to do for now. Of course the upside is MY BIRTHDAY. Hahaha.

ALWAYS.

Are people incapable of hearing me!?

EVERYONE. It’s not just one person!

I think I talk loud enough that people could HEAR ME!

Am I really so forgettable that you’d just blow me off?

You do know that’s really RUDE?

Why bother talking at all?

I mean, God, if you don’t listen to ME when I want you to, why should I SPEAK when you want me to?

Ugh, I feel like punching something/someone.

Bored.

Bored with apathy, though it’s left now.

Funny.

Thought it would never leave.

No fun to be numb.

Not much fun to feel, either, but you get lots more from life that way.

–

Can’t get the first few lines of Tiny Vessels out of my head.

Constantly have Dashboard Confessional in my head, too.

…

Huh.

I am, really.

I want to go to parties and actually have something to do on weekends.

Don’t get me wrong, i love watching rented seasons of tv shows and playing sims all day, but it just gets a little old being with my mom every weekend.

I’ve shied away from the whole social life thing, when i was just always surrounded by people, but now i really would like it back.

I was a lot happier then. Now i’m just a little too stressed out all the time.

Always upset with something, even when i have no idea what that something is.

I don’t know. It sucks.

…

Yeah.